Our family had planned several days before to go to a craft party at my cyber school's hq in West Chester, which is like an hour and a half from our house driving. Some of my family decided they were too sick to go so we it ended up just being me, my big sister, and my dad. My dad actually had lost his voice, so it was a much quieter ride than we were used to when being with my dad.
But my dad does this thing. Whenever my dad is driving near a fancy hot new expensive car, like a ferrari or mercedes or bmw or anything that is worth half our house, he ALWAYS says he can get in front of them and change lanes before them or whatever because the person isn't going to want to hurt their new fancy car by ramming into him for it. And each time he goes in front of them or whatever they ALWAYS beep their horns loud and long... and each time he says get my gun; I'm armed and they're not. And each time my mom goes "Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat!!!!!" (which is my dad's name). It was funny cuz this one time, there was a fancy car behind us and he beeped at us when my dad went in front of him and then later when the same car got behind a line of traffic, my dad drove by him quick and beeped at him lol it was so funny but my mom got all freaked out and my dad said I'm armed and they're not, and my mom was like how do you know they're not armed and for the tiniest split second I was like how can they drive without arms? and then I realized he meant firearms and I felt pretty dumb lol anyway so yesterday on this particular drive in Philly there is this guy and his gf in their hot new mercedes in the lane next to us and trying to change lanes and my dad says, "Watch this" and next thing I know I hear BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPP from the shiny silver mercedes and my dad says "Get my gun! Get my gun! I'm armed and they're not!" and we throw up his briefcase and I duck my head in my lap and then I look around quick and the car is behind us and the guy is glaring. But he couldn't afford to do anything to our car for fear of damaging his shiny new mercedes. So anyway, SURPRISINGLY, we arrived safely at the building and made our way through the confusing maze of cubicles until we reached the room where we were to spend an hour and a half making international crafts with the foreign language teachers. One of them was my Spanish teacher in 8th grade and 10th grade. She taught us how to make God's Eyes, that craft with popsicle sticks and yarn. We also spent a long frustrating hour learning how to make these German Stars. They are like origami, and you can make them with long strips of paper or ribbons.
On the way back, we are listening to the charming English accent version of the voice on the gps. Unfortunately, it tells us to stay left at the toll booth so we accidentally go through the EZ pass one and don't get a ticket so when we get to the booth where we have to pay, my dad almost has to pay $24 instead of $2 but then my dad explained what happened (with difficulty because of his lost voice) and the toll booth guy said it happens a lot so we got away with it. My poor dad. Later we met a friend at the grocery store and she asked if we enjoyed our dad not having a voice for once because he is usually extremely talkative, but actually I missed his voice because I had been having to do a lot of his talking for him.
After that, we go to a Chinese restaurant and order vegetarian Chinese food, but I don't order the moo shu vegetables because I don't know what is in them and my dad always jokes about cow feet. haha
But we are still hungry so we go to this place that sells luxury chocolates so that we can get free samples. But I couldn't find the samples, so when my dad shows me where they are, he said my eyes bugged out and I made a beeline for them like a zombie and he was teasing me the rest of the day about it! I reached for the biggest piece and Alyssa says, "Don't be greedy!" So I grab a smaller piece, rather disappointed, and watch as SHE grabs the biggest piece. I should really not listen to her so much.
Then we go to Wegmans and get the rest of our dessert. The first thing, I will not disclose what it was because my dad would get in trouble with my mom if she reads this. The second thing was a 2-liter bottle of cherry soda. We are all rather full by this time and my dad doesn't want to carry the soda around and I don't want to throw it away so I finish it off for us straight from the bottle. But by then I am too full and too tired to want to shop for food for Christmas. So I am walking around in a stupor while we get groceries and then I need to use the restroom because I had just drank about a liter of soda. But when I get to the restroom there is a guy standing in front of the door holding tape which says "Do Not Pass This Line." So I am forced to keep walking around feeling tired and sick and OOOH my brother just handed me two Hershey's kisses!!!! But what made me feel better was this funny thing I observed. I noticed a trail of chocolate milk on the floor, and I decided to follow it. I saw an employee discover it and he walkie talkied to some other employee, "We have a situation here! There's a trail of chocolate milk all over the store! Send someone over the clean it up." And maybe it wasn't that funny but since I was so tired I was laughing hysterically!!!
After that ordeal I wasn't so tired anymore, and we went to some other stores and the mall and I got a great Spanish-English dictionary for only 4 bucks and Alyssa and I helped my dad pick out something for my mom for Christmas. Then we went home and I went to bed and had a disturbing dream and woke up this afternoon.
Well, if you have just finished reading all of this, congratulations. I hope you have become a better person because of it, or have at least been amused.
Excuse me while I go refill my blood sugar.
